I thought about the body. About how we are all different and at the same time the same. About how we all, to one degree or another, think about it, compare, look back, keep in shape. Or do not ...

Therefore, I decided to visualize these thoughts literally and measure and draw all visitors to the exhibition. I put each one to a sheet of paper and made marks of measurements: the outline of the head, height, shoulder width, legs. When people all came and went, my drawing from marks gradually turned into a figure, a sort of collective body.

Moving away from the sheet, after I measured them, people tried to find their size and shape in this common body, but this, of course, was impossible. They smiled.

At the end of the performance, I outlined my figure with a red marker, as a uniting part, belonging to this collective portraits.

2019 Berlin, SomoS, #PAS 65, Performance Art Studys, Foto @Monika Deimling


2019 Berlin, SomoS, #PAS 65, Performance Art Studys, Foto @Monika Deimling

I collected an archive of all my «flaws», all critical comments and wrote them on my body. Documented. I highlighted all the scars that I had previously only hidden. Acceptace of my body, my appearance, age changes do not allow me to break under countless criticism. Some parts of the body are named twice exactly the opposite, representing double standards.



I stand on the podium illuminated. Viewers can walk around me and read all the inscriptions.

the posture of the victim
the posture of the victim



the posture of the victim
the posture of the victim



bags under eyes and wrinkles

yellow colored skin and eyes

unkempt eyebrows, to time and why

fiaughter lines terribly spoil the whole face

farm nose

thin lips

loose saggy neck

rough skin

huge pores

one lonely hair, my grandmother had the

same one

gray hair

seclioned eyebrow

fist scar

scar and a little bald spot since childhood

pale hair sponge

scar almost like a tattoo

what is it, unhappy love?

did you want to die

unshaved bushes

vulgar tattoo

like sandpaper (elbows)

scar from hitting the door





terrible hairiness

swollen veins

varicose veins


too fat - too skinny

little meat

2017, Gallery Soljanka, Moscow, Russia.

We won!




Putin served as president for two terms from 2000 to 2008, and in 2008-2012 he was a prime minister.

Currently V.V. Putin has been president since May 07, 2012, his term ends in 2018.

In anticipation of the new presidential elections, we held our breath hopelessly. I want to remind the president of the oath and his inaugural speeches for each presidential term, so that people can remember all these promises. One can trace how Putin’s demeanor is changing from speech to speech.

I stand with my back to the audience and repeat the mimicry and gestures of the president. There is a projection on the wall, where «we» is in the frame: the President and those who supported him. The text runs parallel on the wall next to the video preform.

Duration 30 minutes.

2017, Performance. Gallery Soljanka, Moscow, Russia


Moksha (Skt. «Liberation») in Hinduism and Jainism is the liberation from the cycle of birth and death and all suffering and limitations of material existence.

2017 year was very difficult for me. My matured son moved out and it was very difficult to decide to let him go. And I got my travel documents for leaving the country. I did not want either one of these things. But it was a formed decision and, I believe, a way out of this situation.

I hesitated a lot. I heard condemnation. And I couldn’t say 100% that I assure that I was doing the right thing and I would not regret this. But the decision was made. I went to different places dear to my heart, to a few friends and took photos of them as a souvenir. I took pictures of my son and even took pictures of his childhood pictures.

I will try to break away from what is dear to me. To give freedom and get freedom.

I go out and attach photos to the stand along with rubber bands. Then I try to break away from my attachments.

2017, Performance. Gallery Soljanka, Moscow, Russia

Small day in an asylim


A small day in an asylum.

Asylum. 2016. 


Probably, this is a performance about hopelessness in general. A hopelessness that arises when the dominant vertical of power is not willing to give its power to horizontal forces and change towards equality. This is a performance about violence caused by people unwilling to give their power away. And about the understanding of gender as a form of dominant and submissive behavior.

Ascencion resembles the labor of Sisyphus, and as we try to ascend, we confirm to this model of hierarchy. But is it worth it to spend so much effort? Or is it worth changing the «leadership» relationship model to a «partnership»?

The performance took place at the Artplay platform in 2015 within the framework of Mediaudar (Media Impact) on 6-th Moscow biennale.

Before the start of the performance, I said: «When we were little, we were told: you were born equal, you live in the fairest country and you have equal rights with everyone. Nevertheless, we had to be taller, smarter, stronger ... And without thinking about this contradiction, we entered this life to become taller, smarter, bolder, stronger.»

So I and my assistant, we began to climb the stairs together. When we reached the middle, the assistant suddenly turned around and pushed me down the stairs. No matter how hard I tried to go up, I was inevitably pushed down from the stairs.

When the power of the blow was so strong that I had to fall down or lose my breath, I was saying something about the events in the country related to my personal history or just cases from life connected with violence of the authorities or discrimination, ending with the sentence saying we need to be taller, grow and head upward.

Stairs. 2015. Performance. Artplay. Moscow. 6-th Moscow biennale of contemporary art.

They say they laid down their arms

they say they laid down their arms
they say they laid down their arms

they say they laid down their arms
they say they laid down their arms


At the opening of the exhibition, during the buffet with the waitresses, lists of those killed during the Russian-Ukrainian conflict were read for 3 hours. Fallen from both sides. Before reading, I threw the mashine gun on the floor and in the process of reading I began to move and passing by the weapon trampled its sheets with lists flew to the floor until the weapon was also covered with these sheets.

They say they laid down their arms. 2014. Performance. Zverev Center for Contemporary Art, Moscow, Russia



One's actions are not only modelled by thoughts of the future, «looks forward», but also under the influence of events from the past. The inability to chase away thoughts and memories away makes one unconsciously repeat seemingly meaningless actions. In rubbing one's face, hands, as if performing a magical meditative ritual, there is some kind of healing, getting rid from obsessive phantoms of the past.

Erasing. HD Video. 2014. "Panoptikum", special program of the 6th Moscow biennale of Contemporary Art


2 stage

Common knowledge in psychology: Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has identified five stages of grief, loss of a loved one. This principle applies to acceptance of any other unexpected events. Stage 2 - aggression. Stage 5 - acceptance. According to statistics, only 2% of people reach the 5th stage.

Loss... Sometimes we all lose something, someone ...

We try to ignore the fact that leads us to the unpleasant thoughts ...

We throw away unnecessary things, get rid of unwanted habits.

There is no more TV in my life, and I do not know what «biting one's nails» means. The word «nail-biting» is stricken out from my vocabulary! I cross out «affection»... What other undue points are left there? What else is hard to think about? Ah, it’s «respect», «freedom», i cross them out too.

We do not let unwanted people in our lives.

Sometimes, while being closely together we may still be inexistent for each other. If that is not enough, we cross people out of our lives, especially if they do something wrong.

People die... We cross their memories out, so that they would not hurt us, or we cross our love for life out, in memory of the departed.

It’s an illusion of comfort. Emptiness, absence of irritating stimuli. We minimize our pain while possibly causing some to others. A closed circle.

But (there is always a «but»), people do not disappear forever.

2012. From project "2 stage". Personal show. Zverev Center. Work nominated for the Kandinsky Prize.


Moscow- Rizhskaya. Performance. 2012.

Intimate diary